Tuesday, July 24, 2007

My Girlfriend Is Just Not That Into Me

So, you called her again and left yet another message. It's the same pattern - scheduled playdates cancelled, voice messages left with no response, unanswered emails. You're not giving up on her, though. Eventually she will get back to you, probably.
Why do you like her? Well, she's interesting and she doesn't hound you. She's a little bit distant but that's because she 's really busy, you tell yourself. She doesn't let you "in" - you have to work to get to know her - ask a lot of questions. She fears commitment and that's why you tread lightly. She's just like ... wait a minute ... she's just like a bad boyfriend!

Oh my God! you tell yourself. You just realized that your girlfriend is just 'not that into you'.

What to do? What to do? What a yucky thing to realize - that you aren't that important. It's not that she doesn't like you (you hope), you're just not very high on her priority list. She doesn't have time for you OR she doesn't choose to make time for you. It's hurtful at first. Then you realize that you either stick around and hope for the phone call or move on and let her go (and let her do whatever is so important in her life). It's all so silly, yet we all get into relationships like this sometime in our life and we ultimately question ourselves - what am I doing wrong? Why doesn't she want to do something with me? Is she just being polite when she does call or is she just that busy? I know a couple of people that fit this profile. Now that I have figured out their "story", I get to decide what to do. If nothing else, at least the sense of control brings me a little satisfaction because, really, we are all very busy. Why wait for someone who only wants to be a "Sometime Friend"?

Do you know anyone who treats you like the Wednesday night waitress (no names please)? You know - small shift, crummy hours, small tips ... I want to be the Saturday night waitress. I think I am worth it. Comments anyone?

2 comments:

MoooGurl22 said...

I can totally relate to your latest blog. My bff (or as of late, ex-bff) just stopped calling me all of a sudden just this past week. Turns out she ditched me for my arch-nemesis-aka-"that easy girl whos so popular." Turns out I dont think my ex-bff ever really cared about me or my life. At least she was expendable. This is molly, by the way. Your mothers helper girl!

Cheryl Williams Chang (aka "Bunny") said...

Thanks for responding to my blog, Molly. So glad you read this. Sometimes I just don't get females. I will say this, though. Stay true to yourself. I truly believe in the phrase 'what comes around, goes around.' Your ex-bff will have her "turn", just wait and see. Meanwhile, remain your smart, cool, calm, beautiful self. You WILL win in the end - you just might not see it that way now. See you soon! Bunny