Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Handsome Man is Showing Me His WHAT?!!

I swear to God, I don't know why these things happen to me... kind of scary... kind of interesting. My life is full of these bizarre happenings.

So, I'm driving to work. If you live anywhere near Washington, DC or 495, you know that in order to beat traffic, you leave earlier than anyone has a right to be awake. However, everyone has this same mentality and we all find ourselves on I-95 at 6:20am driving with a gajillion other cars. The sun is just rising and I am listening to NPR, drinking my coffee and eating a muffin. Out of the corner of my eye a blue pick up truck is keeping up with me. I look over and there is a good looking man in a business suit smiling at me and I see something else. I squint and he maintains eye contact. OH MY GOD!!!! MY EYES!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!!! I just saw his tallywhacker standing tall peeking above the door. How is it possible I can see IT?! Is he sitting on books? Is that real? Oh my Lord, I can't process ... don't want to see that while I'm eating breakfast... and it gets better. I drive away and HE FOLLOWS ME. He pulls up beside me again (remember all this time we are driving 65-70mph) and holds up a sign that reads, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

What is this? Am I on candid camera? I look at him and shake my head "NO". Now I'm getting angry. Who does he think he is? I try to slow down so I can get his license plate but he takes off. Then it's over. What just happened? Am I flattered or disgusted? Is he going to a job or is his job finding women alone in their cars on a highway and jingling body parts out of a window?

What's the moral of the story? Listen to your mom and leave your clothes on.

Anyone have a similar story? No, I didn't think so. There are many more stories to share with you, so stay tuned.